A Matter of Indulgence
by Fruityloo
Summary: "Kaname perceives beauty in the most sickening of places. Zero bears the burden. Together, they are broken. Apart, they fool the world." A story of tragedy, and how it effects all who are involved. TRIGGER WARNING! Rape, abuse, mild amounts of gore, and panic attacks.
1. Prologue: Burning the Evidence

**[It's already in the description, but MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING! RAPE AND ABUSE. ****_Please_**** stop reading if those could trigger you. I would hate for that to happen. **

**Enjoy!]**

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"You're beautiful," a voice whispered, in what probably could be considered a conversational tone, but Zero knew the voice didn't expect an answer, and Zero didn't plan on giving one. He stared straight ahead, looking past Kaname's powerful (_powerfully violent_) form, past the drapes that covered the Pure Blood's bed, and to his reflection in the room's only window.

He didn't _feel _very beautiful. His face was a wet mess of purple and red, oozing cuts on top of gaudy bruises on top of scars that ran too deep to be seen. It wasn't pretty; it was disgusting, and Zero was glad all he could see in the glass was his face.

The rest of him was in even worse condition; not even an inch of skin free of some wound. His neck: littered with neat punctures, half of them still slowly bleeding to the beat of his own heart. His chest was covered in several gashes and cuts, shallow, mostly scabbed over by now, but they still hurt. Especially when Kaname ran his tongue over them, and he made no effort to be gentle. Blood pooled in the hollow of stomach. His thighs were an unspeakable mess.

Above it all, there was Kaname, admiring the squalor, the state of total degradation _he_ created. Without even needing to see his face, Zero knew Kaname was looking at him, smiling, pleased with himself and what he created. "I suppose you're hungry now, aren't you?" the Pure Blood spoke in a slow, even drawl, as if Zero's condition somehow inconvenienced him personally, the fact that he was the one to put Zero in such a state seemed to be lost on him.

Zero shook his head no, not trusting himself to speak, but still needing to answer. It was such an obvious lie, anyone could have saw through it. Zero lost so much blood. _Of course_ he would be hungry! But he didn't want to eat. Eating meant healing, and healing meant the evidence of what just transpired, the evidence of what Kaname did to him, the evidence of what Zero allowed to happen, would all be gone.

Not that his refusal meant anything in the long run. Kaname didn't even seem to notice, or if he did, there was no acknowledgement of it.

Kaname said nothing, simply adjusted his right arm until it was exactly in the middle of Zero's sight, and smiled. Zero hated this part. He really, _really_ hated this part, the cover up. If he could, he would have looked away. But he was treated so roughly, and he lost so much blood, and Zero could hardly find the energy to stay awake, let alone turn his head. All he could do was _watch_ and Kaname dug his nails into his arm, dragging downwards; down, down, creating two long rivers of blood in his wake. Blood flowed from the wounds like water, gushing and pouring over the sides of the self-mutilated arm, falling in large drops onto the soiled bed sheets.

Zero whined when smell reached him.

"I am being very generous by offering, so take it before I lose my patience," Kaname urged him, and though the tone was gentle, its actual meaning was anything but. Kaname knew Zero didn't want this – any of this. How could he not know, when it was so clearly written on Zero's face, in his eyes, in his every movement? Yet Kaname persisted, letting the blood fall onto his chest, his scarred neck, his disfigured face. Large droplets fell dangerously close to Zero's mouth, but the danger of it by no means meant the action was accidental.

His eyes flashed red.

The instinct to stick out his tongue and catch the blood was strong. It would be so easy; just a simple flick of his tongue, and what little pleasure he could derive from these encounters would be his. But Zero beat it down. Even a small amount of that blood would heal him. Purple skin would regain its natural pallor, cuts both deep and shallow would heal in moments; even old scars would start to fade away. Zero knew what Kaname was doing; _burning the evidence. _

But if he drank, the pain would stop.

And It would taste _so good_.

Without even intending to, Zero talked himself into it. Just as Kaname knew he would, just as Zero did every time.

Zero sighed as his body went slack, mouth finally opening.

"Good boy," was the last thing Zero heard before his entire world turned red.

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**[Review and tell me what you think? I never thought I would write a fic with multiple chapters, as short stories have always been my forte, so this is an experiment for me. Feedback would be most helpful.]**


	2. For Two Alone

Kaname liked seeing Zero this way, all cut and bloody and hurting. It wasn't that he necessarily enjoyed putting Zero in pain; rather, it was the bruises he liked to see, all purple and yellow and occasionally green; it was the way blood stood out against his skin, vividly bright as it oozed from each cut and puncture, gruesomely dark when it dried. It all looked so lovely, and Kaname was a creature who naturally sought after beauty. Zero, all battered and cut and covered in his own blood - he was the most beautiful creature of them all.

But eventually, all beautiful things must lose their splendor. Attractive women grow old, flowers wither – Zero's wounds must heal. But at least he would be the one to heal them, and no one else would get to see - _have the privilege of seeing_ - Zero in his broken state. These intimate moments of blood and pain... they were only for the two of them.

When Kaname saw Zero the following evening - well-dressed, hair combed, skin unblemished - he still thought Zero to be beautiful. But it was a different kind of beauty, one absolutely anyone could see if they knew how to look. Indeed, many of the girls who often came to watch the Night Class would also watch Zero. But their attention was casual at best._ Nothing_ like what they had. None of them would ever see Zero broken, would never see him cry; would never see their private beauty.

As he thought, Kaname's feet moved, leading him towards Zero by no conscious choice of his own; rather, an unconscious yearning, a primal desire to seek out beauty. Zero required no greeting, only a stern look and whispered words, "I'll find you in my room after class." Not a request, but an order.

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**[This chapter was originally much longer. However, partway through editing it, I realized my oginaly intentions were completely off-base, so a lot of what I wrote became unnecessary. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! **

**Feel free to share any thoughts on how this is progressing. I'm interested to see what you have to say.]**


	3. Lion's Den

Zero stepped back, face white, eyes wide – then narrow, as he watched Kaname's form disappear into the school. Outwardly, Zero was unmoving. Perhaps even a little _too_ motionless. He stood in such a way that didn't quite look natural to anyone who spared a glance at him. All the usual admirers instinctively knew to keep their distance.

All except for one.

"It looks like you two are really getting along lately." Zero heard someone comment from behind him, and he turned towards the voice, he found Yuki standing behind him, blissfully oblivious as always.

Her smile was absolutely heartbreaking.

Hearing how wrong Yuki's perception was didn't even faze him – it was what Kaname intended, after all. In public, the beast-in-human-form was polite and well-mannered, if not a great deal stand-offish. The very picture of a kindly gentleman, and the way Yuki looked up to Kaname only served to further distort the girl's perceptions. Not that Zero minded. Yuki was the last person he wanted to find out about his trysts with the Pure Blood. Whatever form of manipulation Kaname used to distort Yuki's version of the truth, Zero was grateful, so long as it meant she didn't have to know.

_Ha! _Imagine: He, who loathed vampires like no other, grateful for their impeccable skill of distorting the truth. It was far better than the alternative.

But despite all of this, something in Zero's expression must have betrayed him. A too-thinly-veiled expression of wrongness, the way he was practically biting his lip to keep himself from denying Yuki's claims that he and Kaname were "getting along." He may not want her to know the truth, but that didn't mean he wanted her to believe such a blatant un-truth, either.

"Are you alright, Zero?" Yuki began, her voice dropping from cheer to concern. "You're pale," He hadn't noticed until Yuki said it, but now that it was brought to his attention, Zero could feel the blood drained from his face, and the sudden chill that washed over him at this realization. A glance down at his hands confirmed just how sickly-looking he had become, his skin so washed-out under the harsh sunlight that it appeared nearly ashen in color. As she spoke, Yuki toyed with the collar of her uniform. Zero wasn't sure if the act was intentional or not, though it made little difference.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, confirming that the way she bared her neck was in fact no accident.

"I don't need your blood, Yuki." He bit out through a tense jaw (he had yet to relax since Kaname spoke to him; every inch of his body was tense as a coiled spring). And for once, it was true. The sight of her neck (scarred with bite marks, Zero noted, which was a drastic contrast from his own unblemished skin) did nothing to him. For once, blood – or rather, a lack of it – was not the cause of, and could not solve, his problem.

Before Yuki could question him further (for even Zero knew how easy it was to see that something was most definitely wrong), Zero took his leave, to the only place he knew Yuki _wouldn't_ come looking to check up on him: the Moon Dorm.

The lion's den.

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**[I have a feeling this chapter was a bit dry. I'm really sorry. D: But if you're gonna stick around, I promise that it's worth it! **

**Review and tell me what you think?**


	4. Slow-burning Fire

**[Previously titled Emphatic. Enjoy!]**

* * *

Perhaps choosing Kaname's room as his sanctuary was not such a good idea after all. Though Zero knew he would not have to worry about Yuki looking for him here, there was a price to pay for his momentary solitude; a price of pain, of blood...

"You look distraught, Zero."

Zero turned towards the voice and saw Kaname, motionless by the fireplace, lit, though Zero could not feel its warmth; the fire burning cold, chilling him. A shudder of anticipation curled up his back, body already knowing what to expect - they'd been through this so many times before. He took a step forward - a step towards his tormentor, eager to get on with it.

Kaname would not let him escape so easily.

"Tell me." From anyone else, those words might have been consoling; from Yuki, concerned. But out of the Pure Blood's mouth, they were demanding. "What is troubling you?"

Zero cracked –literally cracked, for the expression seemed to break his face – a smile and said, "Yuki thinks we're getting along."

A look of understanding passed over Kaname's face before breaking into laughter. The sound burned colder than the fireplace, and sent a chill down Zero's spine that seemed colder still. Zero did not think it was a laughing matter, but then again, he should have known the sadistic Pure Blood would find some pleasure in Yuki's misunderstanding. Her deception was the man's own doing, after all.

"Is that all?" Kaname stopped his laughing, but the sound of it could still be heard in his voice; a jumping, lilting quality to his words, and Zero could not help but feel that it mocked him there as well.

Zero looked steadily downwards, trying to hide his frustration. A deep breath and Zero risked looking up. Kaname was coming towards him from his place by the fire, and only then did Zero begin to feel its heat.

Yuki was forgotten as Kaname grew closer. By the time Kaname stood in front of him, Zero's only thoughts were of the here and now; of nothing and no one else.

"On the bed, Zero." Kaname whispered, breath curling hot in his ear. When did Kaname get so close? Zero felt his knees go week, body already threatening to give out. So soon? There was a time where Zero could last forever against the dominating force that was Kaname; a time where he was strong, and prideful. But not even Zero could remember the last time he was either of those things.

"Did you not hear me? I told you," Kaname said impatiently, "To get on the bed." This was punctuated by a harsh shove to Zero's stomach. There was not much power behind it, but it was still more than enough to send him flying backwards. He landed in heap, mere inches from the bed. He could have gotten to his feet, could have climbed onto the bed and stretched himself out pretty, just the way Kaname liked it. But before he could even think of moving, Kaname was there, pulling him up by a fist full of hair, holding him so high that Zero struggled to keep his toes on the ground; an impressive feat on Kaname's part, considering the mere centimeters of difference in their height.

Zero was positive that the heat in his body, the manner in which Kaname held him upright; none of that weakness was his own. Just as surely as he could feel Kaname's hot breath on his ear, he could feel the Pure Blood's power on his skin; his aura, wrapped tightly around his body, nearly suffocating him. Kaname knew how to wield his power well, but Zero had to wonder why he chose to use _this_ power against him, out of all his many skills. The aura was an intimate power: a being's very essence. For a Pure Blood to use such a thing on a mere ex-human... Oh, the Night Class would be furious.

The thought brought a smile to his face.

"Enjoying yourself?" Kaname smiled, completely misreading Zero's expression. Or perhaps just twisting the meaning to suit his own ends. That seemed much more likely.

"You know the answer to that," Zero answer, but the response was not half as violent as it should have been. A few months ago, when these violent trysts of theirs only just began, Zero's reaction might've had more fire. But months of mistreatment dulled him. Not completely, but Zero no longer had the energy to respond in such a way. He learned to conserve himself, to save his screaming for the moments that truly deserved it: When Kaname's teeth dug deep into his flesh, his neck, his wrists, his thighs...

"Let's just get this over with." He said at last, and with a great deal of finality as well. He may have no control over the situation, but dammit, he was going to try. Even if control merely meant deciding the time of his own demise, he would at least have the comfort of knowing it was he who brought it on himself.

Control came in many different forms; Zero was finally beginning to realize that this was control too.

"As you wish," With that, Kaname carelessly tossed him onto the bed. Immediately, Zero moved to sit up, but Kaname held him down. First with his aura, it weighing down on him like a rock, the sheer amount of pressure making his head ache. Then Kaname held him with his body, knees pressed tight to either side of his chest, limbs skinny but full of power, crushing him.

Kaname smiled.

He put a hand to his chest, pressing a little too hard for Zero's liking. The smile faded just as quickly as it appeared. "Should have made you strip…" he muttered, pushing off Zero's jacket; black cloth falling onto pristine white sheets, sure to be stained red by the evening's end. Next came his shirt, buttons popping one by one, and Zero knew he would have to come up with some excuse for the state of his uniform. Headmaster was sure to scold him. Toga would grow even more suspicious, but for all the wrong reasons. Zero would not correct him.

His mind wandered in this way, and Zero let it; any thought was better than focusing on Kaname, on the crushing power of his presence. Or on his teeth; sharp, violent teeth, biting into his shoulder, drawing blood and allowing it to ooze down his arm; so wasteful. Zero expected to feel the man's tongue next, hot and wet, languid, savoring. But the blood went on ignored. It seemed that, tonight, Kaname merely wanted to make him hurt, watch him squirm; blood had nothing to do with it.

For some reason, Zero found this knowledge comforting. He relaxed into the mattress, head resting gently in the pillows; comfortable, as if his head belonged there, as if the pillows belonged to him. They might as well, for all the time he spent in this room, on this bed… He claimed a part of this space, the way Kaname claimed him.

Kaname found the lack of reaction was infuriating. His teeth struck again, harder than before, searching for reaction. They found his chest, sucking on the flesh of his stomach before carrying on, moving at an unnervingly slow pace. It was not gentle, for Kaname was never that. But by this point, Kaname was usually tearing off his clothes, or digging teeth into his neck, pawing at his erection. Sometimes it was all those things at once. Kaname allowed Zero no chance to breathe, no chance to pause and catch his bearings. It left him disoriented, to the point where he hardly even knew who he was.

Tonight, there was none of that. Zero was aware. Terribly, painfully aware.

He was aware of Kaname's nails, raking down the length of Zero's bare, heaving chest. But instead of fervent and half-mad with anticipation, the motion was controlled; slow and maddeningly deliberate.

Aware and frustrated, Zero wanted to moan, but he would not allow himself such luxury. Not yet, when the night was still so young. He had so much more to get through. Zero knew to save his break for later.

He would not allow himself to moan, but he did allow himself to squirm. His arms reached upwards in a fit of restlessness, gripping desperately at the headboard above him, using it as leverage to arch his chest high, inadvertently encouraging Kaname's teeth to bit down harder still. The hand raking up and down his chest stopped moving, and instead began pushing down on his ribs.

Something gave way. With a sickening _crack_, he fell back down onto the bed, screaming.

_My rib, my rib. _The screams quieted themselves to half-moans, near-whimpers. He tried to curl in on himself, but Kaname's hand stayed hard against the broken rib, keeping him in place and allowing for nothing to heal.

Above him, the Pure Blood laughed.

Beyond them both, there was a knock at the door.


	5. Disillusion

Kaname tensed at the interruption, his posture still and sharp, face a twist of anger. The pressure on Zero's rib increased tenfold; he very nearly cried out, but Kaname caught the scream in the palm of his hand, trapping the noise in Zero's throat with disturbing ease.

"Quiet."

Zero made a muffled choking sound in response, straining to speak; to say something, _anything_, to make Kaname ease up.

And then – then he was gone from the bed. For the briefest of moments, Zero breathed easier. But his break did not last long. Familiar voices tugged at his ear, but the voices were watery and far away. There was Kaname, of course. His voice was low and smooth, full of dark promise, and far too familiar. And there was another; high and sweet. Zero thought he heard concern as well, though in this state, it was nearly impossible to be certain.

* * *

"What's the meaning of this?" Kaname demanded, eying the pair outside his bedroom. Aido and Yuki – how did Yuki get in here? Why was Aido interrupting? Even he – stupid, stupid Aido – knew better than that. Yet here he was, at his doorstep – with Yuki.

Kaname didn't quite know what to make of that. But he didn't like it. That much he knew for certain.

Aido shrank away from the doorway, sensing the Pure Blood's anger. It was Aido's responsibility to make sure Kaname remained undisturbed, _especially_ when he was with Zero. What their master did with the Level E was no secret to any of the Night Class. They merely pretended not to notice, and those who did not (or could not) ignore it pretended not to care. And then there was Aido, whose loyalty put him in such an unpleasant position: making sure it was possible for his master to do something he so thoroughly disapproved of.

And he failed.

Kaname was livid.

Yuki remained blissfully oblivious – but for how long?

"I couldn't find Zero, so I got worried... and I thought..." Yuki's answer trailed off as the scene just over Kaname's shoulder finally came into focus. The bed was just barely visible behind him, but Yuki could still see most of the figure laying (_collapsed_) on the bed. The fireplace reflected orange off the figure's hair – _silver_ hair. Splashes of red stood vivid against the white sheets, and if she strained her ears, a soft keening reached her, an unmistakable sound of pain.

Yuki was oblivious no longer. The noise could not be ignored, for it was a sound she knew well, the cry of a broken man. _Zero… _

Kaname allowed her but a glance. He blocked her view almost immediately, arms at his sides – unthreatening, but his hands were clenched, hiding claws from his precious Yuki's sight. But he could not hide his face. A smile played across his lips, a familiar smile, one that used to make her heart melt, conjuring up memories of warmth and protection; memories of a wonderful, caring man who saved her. A man who would do anything to protect her. Kaname, her beloved Pure Blood.

But there was no fooling her. Not anymore.

Now the smile on her Pure Blood's face brought to mind images of silver, of red, and of clandestine firelight.

Kaname remained oblivious.

"Yuki..." he took a moment to collect himself, struggling to find words beyond the things he said to Zero. "I'm sorry. I'm busy right now. I'll talk with you later." Though uncharacteristically curt, his tone was light; friendly. But there was hardness to it, and it wasn't entirely foreign to Yuki's ear. Rather, the tone was unidentified... until now.

Her world and everyone in it was becoming more sinister by the second. How did she never notice? Was she _blind_? Yuki's eyes widened at her own realization, but Kaname was too wrapped up in himself to notice that the illusion he worked so hard to maintain was quickly being replaced with distrust.

She tried to steal one more glance over Kaname's shoulder - she didn't want to see it again, but something compelled her. She wanted to make sure, ascertain that she saw correctly. On the odd chance that she was mistaken – oh god, please let her be mistaken.

But the hope was in vain. She saw silver, and red; she saw Zero, bloody and broken. It was gruesome; her stomach twisted in ways she didn't know were even possible.

She did not have to look for very long. The door slammed shut leaving Yuki, alone, in the hallway.

* * *

Kaname whirled towards Zero, pleasant facade dropping from his face in less than an instant. Zero watch the final vestiges of the lie fall from his face – pleasant smile turning crooked; a cold, emotionless glint in his eye lighting with fire that was colder still. Zero felt a chill run up his spine, and even that was agony, his body having grown stiff in the few seconds of stillness.

"I told you to be quiet," Kaname said, anger curling in his voice, chilling Zero to the bone. He was so afraid. There was a time where he was fearless, where even facing down a Pure Blood did not frighten him. But that time was gone. Tonight, at the slightest hint of threat, a scream built in his throat. Kaname caught this one as well, hand finding its place back around his neck. "How are we supposed to keep this a secret, if you can't keep quiet?" he demanded, the hand tightening, Kaname's anger building into a frenzy.

Zero's hands turned to claws. He swung at the vampire, attempting to dig his nails into the man's arm – anything to make him let go. What little breath that was left in his lungs came out as an angry, strangled (_desperate_) snarl. He fought harder, tears forming in his eyes, more from the sheer helplessness than from actual pain, though there was plenty of that. _Let go, let go, let go! I can't breathe! _

But he could only struggle for so long. He fell back onto the bed, lack of oxygen preventing any further struggle. His mouth gaped in a haphazard attempt at forming words, begging and pleading.

_Please. I need to breathe._

Kaname's response came in the form of teeth at his neck, replacing the hand. All at once, Zero could breathe. He took in greedy gasps of air, practically sobbing with relief.

The replacing pain was almost instantaneous. But at least he could breathe – that was something, right?

Zero wasn't sure which he preferred.


	6. Fool's Errand

_The Headmaster's Office._ This time, Yuki didn't bother knocking. She didn't have the time; she had to hurry, for Zero's sake. If she didn't knock on Kaname's door, if she just walked in, maybe she could have done something. She couldn't face a Pure Blood head-on. She didn't have their overwhelming power; she didn't even have the pathetic strength of a Level-E. But she had her Artemis Rod, and with surprise on her side… maybe she could have done something, stopped Kaname all on her own. Not anymore, though. She missed her chance.

Now she needed help.

She burst into the Headmaster's office, both her father and Yagari looking up from their game of cards at the sudden interruption.

_Cards! _They were playing cards! Zero lay bleeding and they were_ playing cards_! Frustration flared in her at the injustice of it, but it was only anger at the situation; she could not be angry at their ignorance, not when she herself was chatting with Sayori not even moments before, happily oblivious while Zero was hurt.

No, she could not blame them. They had no idea. None of them did…

"My beautiful daughter!" Cross stood to greet her with open arms, all warmth and smiles. "How are you on this beautiful eve-" he stopped, dead, as the look in her eye finally registered. "Yuki, what's wrong?"

Yagari set his cards down on the table. His free hand came to rest over his rifle; fearing the worst. Concern was writ in the corners of his mouth, tugged downwards in a grimace.

Tears blurred Yuki's vision, but the voice she answered with was hard, firm and sure of itself. "It's Zero."

A knowing look passed over Cross's face. Yuki knew what her dad was thinking. That Zero's hunger got the best of him; that Zero finally became the Level-E they all feared. And Yagari, dreading that he may have to make good on his promise to kill Zero.

_Wrong! _They were both wrong. She only wished what they thought was true. Terrible as that may be, reality was far, far worse.

"And Kaname," only now did the tears become evident in her voice; shoulders shaking, the words trembled as they fell from her lips, disbelief still hugging to her. She still didn't want to believe it. Her beloved, kind-hearted Kaname; a beast in human form.

Yagari bolted from his chair, rifle in hand, a scowl twisting his face. "What did that damn Pure Blood do!" he demanded, but Yuki couldn't bring herself to answer. Tears consumed her now, though she refused to hide her face even as sobs racked her body. She hated herself for crying, for being weak when Zero needed her strength more than anything.

Seeing that he would get no answer, Yagari flew from the room, headed straight for the Moon Dorm; headed for Kaname.

* * *

Kaname refused to believe it. Their private beauty, the Zero meant for him and him alone – Yuki saw it, saw Zero, broken and bruised and beautiful. It was no longer his and his alone. Yuki saw.

All this he thought as he sucked on Zero's neck, fangs driving deeper and deeper as the desire to take his Zero back became a need to claim.

His head jerked upwards, leaving two long gashes where his teeth used to be. Zero moaned, body writhing at the sudden absence. His hipbone – sharp, malnourished, sticking awkwardly from his body – jabbed into Kaname's stomach.

Kaname gave a soft, involuntary grunt. He smiled despite the pain; _admiring_. In this position, he could count each of Zero's ribs, the bones painfully clear beneath a layer of skin, stretched too thin and abused too often. He followed their curves with his hand, delighting in the scream Zero gave when his hand passed over shattered bone. The space above it was a deep, royal shade of purple. Kaname thought of blood pooling around bone, and his fangs throbbed in response.

Thoughts of Yuki – of interruptions and of private, sacred beauty desecrated by discovery – left his mind as his fangs pierced skin a second time, the flesh of Zero's thigh like soft butter or the most tender of meat. It felt good between his teeth; he worked the skin as he drank, grinding his teeth, not quite breaking skin but close to it.

His jaws were like iron and the flesh of Zero's thigh was so very sensitive. Another moan tore from Zero's lips – music to Kaname's ears. He moaned in return, unseen smile easily discernible in the sound; sweet and delighted, full of pleasure. Zero, however… the noises he made were low, base and desperate.

Kaname didn't know the difference.

* * *

The Moon Dorm was… eerily empty. The hour was late, but for the vampires, class only just ended. And though Yagari did not make a habit of visiting the Moon Dorm, he knew the place was usually full of activity; vampires chatting in the lounge, sipping blood from wine glasses; incredibly civilized for the beasts that they were.

But tonight, there was none of that. Not a single vampire to be found. Hiding? That was almost a funny thought. But Yagari had to think of _why_ the vampires hid. On orders from their Pure Blood? The thought disturbed him, because it was so likely.

Or perhaps they were turning a blind eye.

His answer came in the sound of a scream.

A renewed sense of urgency filly him. Up the stairs, through the winding hallways; he reached Kaname's room in under a minute, and pushed the door open with no thought for what might lay on the other side.

He expected to walk in on a fight. A half-assed, juvenile fight between two vampires - two teenagers - who did not get along; a boyish battle for dominance, or an argument that grew too heated.

Nothing could have prepared him for what he found instead.

Behind him, he heard footstep; rushed, filled with near-panic. He recognized the footfalls as Cross and his daughter.

He couldn't let Cross see this.

Without warning, Yagari launched himself at Kaname. The Pure Blood had yet to notice him; he was too enraptured with Zero, mouth latched onto Zero's thigh in sick mockery of a lover. Yagari yanked the Pure Blood from the bed, the action causing Zero's skin to tear where teeth once held purchase. Yagari felt a pang of guilt, but he pushed it down. He had to focus. Had to keep Zero safe. Guilt could come later – and oh, how Yagari knew it would come.

In a single, fluid motion, Yagari had his rifle jabbing into the Pure Blood's chin. Only the knowledge that he'd be killing a Pure Blood – a taboo, even among the most prominent of Vampire Hunters - kept him from pulling the trigger.

More footsteps. Yuki and Cross had arrived.

* * *

"No!" Yuki thrust herself into the doorway, blocking the Headmaster's path, trying in vain to stop him from seeing what lay beyond. He shouldn't have to see the son he loved so much, bloodied and broken at the hands of one whom he trusted so completely – trusted with his life's goal, peace between vampires and humans.

But she could only do so much. Like Kaname before, her form was not enough to block the entire doorway, and Cross was much taller than her. He could see over her head easily, and Yuki knew he must be looking, for his eyes widened, his mouth falling open in disbelief – and horror.

For a long moment, no one moved; Cross, frozen in shock; Yuki, obstinate in saving her father from the horrors that lay beyond her; Kaname, kept in place only by the threat of a vampire hunter's weapon (though even that would not last for long); and Toga, locked in place with the barrel of his gun shoved hard beneath the Pure Blood's chin. Only his trigger finger moved; shaking, not from fear, but from anger.

No one so much as breathed. The moment seemed so surreal, as if someone cast a spell over the entire room. No one dared to break it – at least for the moment.

The spell wore quickly.

In a flash of movement too quick to be seen Kaname jerked his arm sideways, knocking the rifle away from his face. His other hand lashed outwards, fingers more like claws than the hand of a man.

Yagari barely had time to react. He jumped backwards, the movement fairly controlled and sure of itself despite the cramped environment; the instincts of a vampire hunter served him well, but never in a million years did Yagari think he would have to rely on them against Kaname.

"Yuki!" he yelled for assistance. His first instinct was to call for Cross, but the man was still frozen in the doorway; he would be of no help right now.

In an instant, Yuki was there, Artemis Rod coming to her hand more easily and sinuously than ever before – a skill born of necessity. She rammed the butt of her weapon into Kaname's chest, sparks flying as it connected. The damage done was minimal at best, but it was still enough to stun, enough to knock him off his feet.

Yuki gave him no time to react. She thrust all her weight onto the Rod, pinning Kaname to the floor.

Once again, the room fell silent. But the earlier stillness was gone for good. Kaname attempted to get up, but the movement only prompted more sparks, forcing him back down onto the floor. Yuki's chest heaved, her breath heavy with the effort of pinning a Pure Blood. Yagari righted himself and readjusted his rifle, aligning it with Kaname's head. Only Cross remained unmoving, shock keeping him frozen in the doorway.

To the side, closed off in a bubble all his own, someone stirred.

* * *

Zero tried to sit up. An arm went out behind him, seeking leverage. But his arms were weak, lack of blood and lack of oxygen making his muscles no more useful than jelly. He couldn't support himself, and he fell back onto the bed, gasping from the effort. No one seemed to notice him. A glance to the side showed Yagari, eyes narrow, glaring down at Kaname with his gun close at hand. And Yuki, brow lined with the effort of holding back a Pure Blood. If Zero had any peace of mind, he would have been impressed; he was a hunter of reasonable skill, and even he could not manage to hold back Kaname, not even on the best of days. Yuki was something special; her determination admirable.

But Zero did not have the mind to think such things, at least not for long. He forced his thoughts to stop wandering, lest they wander into darkness and leave him unconscious.

Once again, Zero made to sit up. He put both arms out behind him and, groaning with the effort, Zero managed to push himself into a sitting position. Muscles cried in protest, his head throbbed with and bile rose in his throat, the pain having doubled, _tripled_. But Zero pressed on, ignoring the screaming protest of his body. Because he was doing it, he was –

Zero screamed.

He sat up too far, moved too much; the shards of bone that used to be his rib pressed painfully into his skin, pushing outwards in some places, threatening to break through skin in others. Zero could see it in his mind's eye: Pearlescent bone, colored pink with blood, jutting from his body at all awkward angles. Oh, wouldn't Kaname love to see that? _Beautiful._ Surely he would think it beautiful.

He thought this as he writhed on the bed, his scream having quieted to a mere moan, and then not even that. He didn't want to draw attention to himself; didn't want them to see.

* * *

The scream finally broke Cross from his stupor. He rushed to his son's side, concern writ in the crease of his brown and corners of his lips, pulled downwards by the scene before him. Horror dissipated as he thought only of Zero.

He placed a gentle palm on Zero's shoulder. Zero flinched.

_Oh, no. _

Holding back tears, he pushed through Zero's fear. Cross didn't want Zero to be afraid, but making sure he wasn't… permanently injured was more important. He could worry about Zero's mentality when– when Zero wasn't bleeding out before his eyes.

"Zero…" he said, voice quiet yet it rang so loud – too loud – among the silence. Zero stirred; the sound of his name, spoken so softly, seemed to reach him. He visibly relaxed beneath the Headmaster's hand, allowing the small contact.

But even with this unspoken permission, Cross kept touching to a minimal. He helped Zero into a sitting position, keeping a very careful eye on what appeared to be a broken rib – what else would push against his skin so sharply? If it weren't for his years as a vampire hunter, Cross may have gagged at the sight. Only concern and a certain, jaded mindset he had not visited for centuries kept the reaction at bay.

A new reaction quickly settled in. Not disgust, not bile rising in his stomach, but a cold, awful sense of necessity.

Zero was bleeding out. He needed blood.

"You need to eat," Cross said, swallowing thickly. Giving himself no time to consider what he was doing, Cross held out his wrist; offering. He didn't want to do this. There had to be another way, there just had to be– But there wasn't, and Cross knew it. If Zero was going to heal, he needed blood. And if he didn't heal soon, he would… Cross dared not think it.

Zero's eyes opened wide, head shaking violently despite his injuries, body shaking. _Fear._ What made him so afraid? Cross knew Zero hated drinking blood, but even he must see how much he needed it.

"_Zero_." Cross tried to sound gentle, calming. He didn't want Zero to be afraid. But instead of calm, his voice came out stern. Cross flinched at the sound of it.

But miraculously, Zero stilled. His shaking stopped, head aligning as his eyes narrowed in on the wrist before him, picking out the vein with an ease born of instinct. Finally, Zero bent forward, eyes flashing red as instinct took over.

Cross saw acceptance in his eye.

Acceptance – and shame.


	7. Ripple

Zero did not dream. To dream was to let his mind wander – and to let his mind wander meant so many unpleasant things. It meant remembering, it meant confronting, and there was a plethora of things Zero did not want to confront.

So when Zero woke, there was no confusion between dream and reality. Just a cold, awful awareness. And an unfamiliar bed.

Zero panicked.

Did he spend the night with Kaname? His aching body – curiously dulled, but aching nonetheless – told him yes. Yet something still felt off. The air burned his nose, reeking of chemicals. A steady beeping lulled his mounting anxiety.

Where was he?

Zero forced his eyes open. A stark white wall stood before him. Pale blue curtains shrouded him from the rest of the world. The beeping droned on; unceasing and vigilant.

_A hospital_.

The events of last night rushed unbidden into the front of Zero's mind, playing with disturbingly vivid clarity despite the pain that fogged his mind in the memory. Zero tried to force the thoughts away, but in his mind's eye he still could not stop Yagari from running into the room, or Yuki from reaching for her Artemis Rod…

And no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn't stop Cross from offering his wrist, or the wicked fangs that sprang to life at the sight.

Without warning, the beeping picked up speed. The noise pulled Zero back into reality – not that reality felt any better than memory. Panic still clung to him, narrowing his vision, heightening his senses and stifling his breath. The room spun. A disturbingly familiar sensation of suffocation grabbed hold of him. No hand wrapped itself around his throat, but the feeling was still there. He couldn't breathe, he was going to die, he was–

The sound of a door swinging open anchored him to reality, but just barely. Zero's mind was still elsewhere; stretched out on a familiar man's (_monster's_) bed, a hand secured tightly around his throat, catching breath, refusing to let any sound pass. But Zero didn't care about screaming anymore. He just wanted to breathe.

"Zero!"

His eyes shot open at the sound of his name – when did he close his eyes? They darted around the room, fear still dictating his movements. He took in in white walls and calming blue sheets. Slowly, Zero remembered where he was: a hospital bed, not Kaname's room. The beeping of his heart monitor returned to normal, and finally, Zero allowed himself to look for the person who called his name.

And then really wished he hadn't.

The voice belonged to the Headmaster, Yagari following close behind him. Cross took up a spot directly beside Zero's hospital bed; Yagari preferred a little distance, choosing instead to stick by the back wall, but the distance made Zero no less aware of his presence.

"How are you feeling?" Cross asked, though the answer should be obvious enough by now. Zero felt awful.

He opened his mouth to speak – not to answer, but to inquire on how he got to the hospital in the first place, to confirm the amount of damage done.

But instead of questions, all that came out was a harsh, shuddering cough. It racked his entire body, causing his universal ache to spike into agony. His side felt particularly bad, the pain burning hot – hot like blood. For the briefest of moments, Zero's mind took him back to a different kind of burning; a man whose scorn burned so cold…

Something bumped up against Zero's lips, once again pulling him out of spiraling thoughts. His eyes opened – when did he close them again? – and he found a cup of water held to his mouth; gently, as if dealing with a small animal.

Zero took the offered cup with a shaking hand. Through his coughing fit Zero saw tiny pinpricks on his wrist; not from fangs, but from needles.

He closed his eyes against the sight – it disturbed him, though Zero could not pinpoint exactly why – and downed the water quickly. Swallowing hurt – just like the rest of him – but the relief it brought was well worth the pain.

"What are these?" Zero demanded, gesturing to the pinholes on his wrist. It was such an odd thing to focus on, especially when so much had happened. But Zero didn't want to think about those things. Focusing on the here and now was easier, even if there here and now wasn't much better.

No answer.

"I said-"

"Morphine," Yagari cut in, seeing that Cross would never have answered.

Zero blanched at the thought of such a strong painkiller, but he forced the reaction away. Morphine explained the curious dullness over his body. Pain cut through the drug, but it wasn't nearly as severe as it could be. And Zero knew perfectly well just bad it could be.

Yagari didn't so much see as he _sensed_ Zero's distaste. It was about to get a lot worse.

He considered not telling Zero why they were forced to use such a drug, but the thought was quickly dismissed. Zero deserved to know.

"We're pretty sure your rib was shattered. But then you fed and it healed too quickly," he explained, sparing Zero none of the details, knowing full well that this wasn't something Zero wanted to hear, but pressing on regardless; Zero needed to know. But he still made no mention of the monster that broke Zero's rib in the first place. Even Yagari knew that wasn't something he should mention. That, and he didn't want to face the issue. None of them did. "It had to be broken again so we could set it properly." His voice took on a mechanical tone, divorcing himself from the situation and from the boy whose rib they had to break, the boy who was raped and beaten right below their noses…

Yagari huffed and halted his thought there. He was so very good at ignoring painful details – most hunters were. They had to be, lest every death witnessed in the field destroy them. But it was so much harder to do with Zero. Yagarai always thought… he thought he would end up having to kill Zero. Yet even that would have been preferable to seeing the boy he cared for so deeply lay broken in a hospital bed.

"We'll let you sleep now, if you like," Cross said, putting a hand to Zero's head, soothing him in a way that only fathers could. Yet there was an edge to his voice – tightness, not so much aimed at Zero as it was a result of him, a product of the things he was forced to witness, for Zero was not the only one broken by recent events.

Zero nodded. He needed to be alone.

* * *

This time, Zero woke not to a moment of utter panic, but of cold, calm acceptance.

His moment of peace lasted all of one minute.

The door opened. Zero turned his head, expecting to see a nurse, or perhaps the Headmaster back for another visit.

Instead of these familiar sights, Zero saw a head of blonde, a Night Class uniform. _Aido?_

"You're the last person I expected to see." Zero said, making no effort to conceal the animosity in his voice – and why should he? He was in a lot of pain, confined to a small hospital bed inside a small room of stark white and pale blue. Anger was almost a welcome distraction. "Why are you here?"

Aido didn't answer at first. He took a seat – he clearly intended to stay for some reason – but kept his head down. His hands curled and uncurled over his knees – nervous, tense – before finally speaking. "I'm sorry."

Zero scoffed – rude, perhaps. But he had a hard time believing Aido was sorry for much of anything, let alone the actions of his beloved Pureblood.

"I'm serious!" Aido's head shot up, his eyes hard and cold – like ice.

"For what?" Zero asked flatly. On top of all his other aches and pains, Zero felt a headache coming on.

"Because I knew! I knew what he was doing but I still didn't-"

"You all knew." Zero interrupted, not so much accusatory as he was merely stating a fact.

Aido fell silent, shot down. "I…" he trailed off, guilt heavy in his voice, seeming to weigh down his entire body. Aido's eyes went back to his knees.

Zero saw emotions he wished he didn't recognize. Guilt, shame, a hint of disgust. Zero knew them because he felt them, just as surely as he felt the pain of last night.

For the first time in his life, Zero looked at Aido – _really_ looked at him, and saw that Aido… He didn't look so good. Pale – too pale for a vampire, his skin a familiar, ashen color, made even more washed out by the harsh florescent lighting. Zero was reminded of his own skin, pale and unhealthy – bloodless.

_But why…? _

Zero swore and immediately shot up in bed, reaching towards Aido, momentarily forgetting his battered body as his focus was put on someone else. But his body was quick to remind him of its condition, and Zero was forced to bite back a cry of pain.

The look on Aido's face was of absolute sympathy.

"You too," Zero whispered, then louder, "He fucking did it to you too."

Aido didn't respond. He merely stood, turning away from Zero and apologized once more, "I'm sorry." He gave no further explanation.

And then he was gone.

* * *

**[Hello again! What do you think of this chapter? I have a feeling the part with Aido might seem like it came out of left field – sorry about that! Though it's not necessary to understand this chapter, if you want to get a fuller picture of what's up with him, go read my oneshot, **_**Mutual**_**.**

**I'm also not entirely satisfied with the last line of this chapter. But I literally spend over half an hour trying to write a better one but that's the best I got.**

**Thank you for reading! I'm really interested in knowing what you think of these developments. So please, leave a review!]**


	8. Guilt

Kaname strained against his chains; yearning, _needing_ to be free – to be with Zero. They'd never been without each other for so long, not without it being of Kaname's own volition. He wanted Zero – could still taste him on his tongue; hot and sweet, adrenaline and pain; _fear_. Yet his throat was so very dry. The taste of Zero's blood, the paling memory of it, only served to emphasize his hunger (_craving_) further. A week apart was near intolerable. A week in chains even more so.

Someone shifted in front of him, chair scraping against concrete. Grating and unpleasant, the noise distracted Kaname from his thoughts of blood, though the ache in his throat obstinately remained. Most frustrating.

"Be still, _vampire._" the man before him hissed; a rather vampire-like sound, which amused Kaname to no end. Such venom! Oh, how the hunter must hate him.

He smiled pleasantly, thinly veiled distaste showing in the curl of his lips, the subtle reveal of fangs. "Forgive me for disturbing you, _hunter_." Kaname said, matching Yagari's venom, though there was a hint of mocking in his voice as well. And beneath it all, a desperate edge; mocking because Kaname knew his helplessness, falling on his biting remarks and smiling mockery. But the fact still remained that he was caught and chained like some pathetic Level-E. "If you would simply release me from these chains-"

"Like hell I will!" Yagari was on his feet in an instant; rifle in hand, aimed careful and true at Kaname's head. For a split second, Kaname thought the man may very well shoot. He did not, though. Of course he didn't. Killing a Pure Blood was taboo, even after what he did.

"Ah, yes. Zero." Kaname said, as if remembering something he'd forgotten. He hadn't. How could he forget _Zero_? His pale skin, vivid blood, and pretty little bruises; such beauty was not easily forgotten. Even now, Kaname could see the patchwork of yellow and green, purple and blue, blood pooling beneath skin.

He made a noise – a soft, needy moan, too quiet for a normal man to hear.

Yagari was not a normal man. "Why you-"

At that moment, the door swung open. Kaname smelled Cross before he saw him; he smelled the salt of tears (though Kaname already knew he would find no such trace of them on the man's face; only a lingering scent remained) and the distinct tang of sorrow. Oh, how the man must have mourned. But he son was not dead. His son was alive. And so very, very beautiful.

* * *

Yagari and Cross spoke in hushed tones, though neither was under the illusion that their conversation was private.

"The Council?" Yagari asked; part eager, part nervous to hear their response. The Council was unpredictable on the best of days. He had no idea how they would react to something like this.

"They won't do anything." Cross said helplessly. Yagari's heart sank, temper flaring.

"Bunch of cowards."

From his place at the wall, Kaname laughed, chains rattling at the movement. Even chained, caught red-handed and at the mercy of two angry vampire hunters – one retired, but a hunter nonetheless – two angry _fathers_ – he still had the arrogance to laugh.

Yagari's jaw set, refusing to acknowledge him. Voice clipped and tense, he asked, simply, "Why?"

There was a pause, as if Cross was unsure. Then a sigh. "They're viewing it as a matter between vampires – out of jurisdiction." The man's fists clenched; the first outward sign of genuine anger since the whole thing began. He was too hurt to feel anger, at first. But he felt it now; acidic and burning. "They don't want to get involved."

Yagari's jaw set further, but otherwise he did not react. In some ways, that was almost worse. "And the vampires?" Yagari knew it was a longshot, but-

Cross's gaze flicked briefly to Kaname. "He's a Pure Blood." He needn't say more.

"I'll deal with the Council myself." Yagari knew he was being illogical; one did not change the Council's mind easily. But no one had ever been as determined as Yagari felt. He left in a hurry – he always seemed to be like that lately, rushing from one place to the next; afraid to slow down, because if he did, that boy would float on into his mind… and along with him came guilt. But if he didn't stop to think too much, the emotion held itself at bay. So Yagari kept moving, kept _angry_, because that was still better than guilt.

* * *

Cross watched him go, almost decided to stay and watch Kaname, but changed his mind at the last moment. He couldn't bear to look at Kaname, let alone be in the same room as him.

Besides, Yagari needed him. He didn't act it, but Cross knew Yagari was taking this the hardest of them all. Yuki cried and cried, screamed disbelief into her pillow and cried some more. But deep down, she knew – always knew what vampires were capable of, ever since she was a child. The shock wore off quickly. She only had bitterness in her now, but Cross had a feeling that was for the best.

Cross had no illusions about vampires; he'd been their enemy for so long, and then their friend. He knew the best of them, and the worst of them, and he knew that, sometimes, the best and the worst existed side by side. He wept as well – silently, angrily.

But Yagari… he didn't cry. He got angry. He _burned_, and he sank, just barely holding himself up under the weight of guilt.

Yagari needed him.

* * *

The door opened easily, much to Adio's surprise. He wasn't quite sure what to expect – how did someone even imprison a vampire like Kaname? If anyone could, it would be the Headmaster. But Aido still expected more. An open door? With no lock whatsoever? Too good to be true. He hesitated in the doorway.

He couldn't see Kaname, but he did hear breathing – then a voice, beckoning him forward. "Aido?" Definitely Kaname's voice. And was that... amusement in his voice? Aido didn't know if that was a good sign or not. Better than anger, he supposed.

Hesitantly, Aido stepped further into the darkness, growing more confident as his eyes adjusted. He could barely make out Kaname leaning against the stone wall, arms strung above him, legs shackled to the floor; the Headmaster and that hunter were clearly taking no chances. In all honesty, Aido couldn't say he blamed them.

"Come here," Kaname said impatiently. Aido could hear the hunger in his voice, could see it mirrored in the red glow of his eyes. A shiver ran through him – of fear or anticipation, Aido wasn't sure. It didn't matter. He still obeyed, approaching Kaname and baring his throat without even having to be told. "Good..." Kaname practically purred. He leaned forward as far as his chains would allow, so close that Aido could feel breath on his neck; damp and cool, though it had the opposite effect on him, heating his skin to near-unbearable levels.

"_Kaname_," not quite a moan, but something close to it. Encouraging Kaname to bite; convincing himself that this was okay – that acting out his duty to his Pure Blood was the honorable thing to do. More honorable than doing nothing and leaving Kaname in chains, even if leaving him would save Zero and his family so much grief...

But it was too late for second thoughts. Just as soon as the not-moan passed his lips, Kaname's fangs broke skin. Seconds passed. Minutes. Hours? Aido lost all sense of time when Kaname was at his throat. He relaxed into the familiarity of it, body going slack as his strength began to wane. Aido slowly fell into rhythm. Deep breath, _shudder_, exhale, _moan_. Inhale-

Metal shattered. Kaname stood, free.

Aido fell to his knees, dazed. He looked up just in time to catch Kaname's expression: Eyes narrowed in anger. But still smiling. That chilled Aido to the core.

"Collect yourself, Aido," Kaname's voice was much smoother now that his hunger was satisfied. "We're leaving."

* * *

"I'm gonna kill him." Yagari said, turning from the spot where Kaname once stood captive, now nothing more than a pile of shattered metal. Those chains were supposed to be unbreakable – he and Cross saw to it themselves. Yet there they were, broken.

Cross put his hand on Yagari's shoulder, soothing him. It worked, or at least it appeared to. "It's best this way."

"_What?_"

"We were going to ban him from the school either way," he said slowly.

Yagari nodded, though he wasn't following. This was different than banning him. That would have been on _their_ terms. This– this was just Kaname throwing dirt in their faces!

"Do you have any idea how bad that would look?" Cross winced at the harshness of his own voice. "My Academy needs the support of a Pure Blood. Without it…" he trailed off, not wanting to finish that thought. "We _need_ this Academy, Yagari. Now more than ever," The _For Zero_ went unspoken, but hung heavy in the air. Cross let his hand drop.

Yagari sighed – a long, shuddering breath, holding back tears of frustration, of guilt and of utter helplessness.

And he cried.

* * *

**[No Zero in this chapter, but I did include Aido! I've been playing around with view points lately and thought it might be interesting to hear from him. I know mos****t of you aren't here for Aido, but I hope you still enjoyed it? I'm trying to show all aspects of what Kaname has done as best I can, and with last chapter's reveal, that includes Aido. **

**Do tell me what you thought of this chapter! I'm totally open to criticism (so long as you're mature about it).]**


	9. Hunt

"Where do you think _you're_ going?" Yuki demanded, folding her arms across her chest. She leaned in the doorway, eyes suspicious, posture obstinate.

Zero sighed, his plans for a quick hunt to clear his mind dissolving in the face of a determined (and probably concerned) Yuki. _Sometimes_, Zero thought_, Yuki cares too much for her own good_. It hurt to see her care so much, when Zero himself could barely give a damn about what happened to him; his body hadn't felt like his own in such a long time... But it hurt to see Yuki care. And unlike the persistent ache in Zero's side, no amount of morphine could dull that pain.

"Well?" Yuki demanded, foot tapping impatiently, though her eyes still held concern. Zero winced, realizing he had yet to give an answer. He got so lost in thought these days, ever since… Well, he had a lot to think about.

"Some fresh air," Zero said, giving Yuki the answer he knew she wanted to hear. Unfortunately, it was also the answer she wouldn't believe.

Yuki huffed, arms uncrossing to fall at her sides. "Liar." She sounded more sad than angry. Reaching into Zero's jacket, she stared pointedly at his gun before moving on – the Bloody Rose was no oddity. Instead, her eyes found the handle of a dagger. Several of them, in fact. "Then what are these for?" She slammed a knife into the doorframe, its handle jutting out between her and Zero, like a barrier. She didn't look happy.

He pulled the knife from the wood, surprise to find how deeply the blade was buried. _She's getting stronger_, Zero thought to himself as he returned the knife to its holster, not that there was much of a point. Yuki wouldn't let him out, at least not alone. And Zero didn't want to go hunting with Yuki. Not because he thought she would slow him down – Yuki could _pin a Pure Blood, _after all – but Zero wanted solitude, not the pressing guilt of a friend who cared too much.

They locked eyes, and Zero had a feeling that Yuki understood; Zero's guilt, his need to be alone. She opened her mouth to speak, possibly to argue, but Zero held up a hand to stop her. He already knew what she would say. _Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. I care about you, Zero. Please feel better. _He _tried_ to feel better. He didn't want to blame himself. He didn't want to make Yuki worry. But the thoughts, the awful emotions – he felt them, just as surely as he felt each bruise on his body, every broken bone.

Something in his face must have struck a chord, because a moment later Yuki lowered her head and stepped out of the doorway. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Zero, hugging him to her. "Fine. Go. Just… take care of yourself, okay?" She pulled away and tried to smile. Zero tried to smile back. Neither expression looked quite right. But it was all they could manage. Perhaps it was enough.

* * *

It felt good to run.

Rain splashed against his face as he ran, cold and electric; the best Zero had felt in weeks. His quarry – a sorry-looking Level-E – ran ahead of him, ducking in and out of alley ways, as if leading Zero down a maze. He couldn't help but wonder how much mental capacity the vampire had left; for a Level-E, Zero found its tactics rather clever.

The vampire ducked into yet another alley. Zero followed, picking up his pace; he didn't want to lose this vampire. He turned into the alley, and –

Nothing. Empty.

Zero whipped around, rain spraying from his hair. No vampire behind him, and the alley was a dead end. He sniffed the air. Beneath the electric tang of storm water, Zero definitely smelled blood. _Where is that damn vampire?_

The rain kept falling, but it didn't feel quite as cold. In fact, it almost felt hot. Hot like – like blood.

_Shit._

The vampire dropped from above, landing directly in front of Zero. So close that Zero could smell its breath; rancid blood and rotting flesh. But the vampire didn't attack. Strange. So strange that, for a moment, Zero did not move.

"You…" the creature croaked. It took Zero a moment to realize it was actually forming words. "Pure Blood?" It leaned forward, sniffing. The vampire tilted its head in confusion. "You… have master?"

Zero lunged, dagger in hand before he even realized he was moving. The words set something off inside him – something repressed and angry, someone determined to prove his worth. "I am not!" He twisted sharply, building momentum as he followed the vampire's jerking movements. "his!" The knife came down, slamming into the vampire's shoulder with incredible force; force born of anger, the memory of a certain man's touch.

_I am not his._

The vampire howled.

Zero allowed himself a smile, feeling a grim sense of satisfaction at the vampire's cry. He yanked back, pulling the blade through the monster's shoulder, slicing muscle, scraping bone. It came out satisfyingly bloody, shiny and black in the dim city light. Zero felt _alive_.

As shock wore off, the vampire went from screaming to whimpering. The noise made Zero's stomach churn; too familiar for comfort.

_I am not his_.

He swung again, lightning-fast, but the first blow had sharpened the vampire's reflexes. It dodged and came back tenfold, lashing out at Zero, its hand a gnarled claw, nails sharp and yellowed and flecked with blood. It was amazing, the difference between a Level-E and the Nobles Zero knew. Compared to this beast, they were almost human –

_No_, Zero halted in his thoughts. _The most beastly of them all are the ones they so revere. Pure Bloods..._ Zero shuddered, unpleasant memories beginning to replay themselves – a moment of distraction. The vampire's claws tore flesh.

_Shit_. Zero snapped back to reality a moment too late. He really did get lost in thought too easily these days, and it was getting dangerous. Yet Zero found he didn't mind the pain. It too made him feel alive, a sensation he was sorely lacking.

He stepped back quickly, removing himself from the vampire's range. Blood trailed down his arm, dripping onto the pavement, seeping into his shirt. Blood in the air. Zero couldn't let this fight go on much longer.

Using his uninjured arm, Zero tossed a dagger; he didn't have quite as much skill with this arm, but years of vampire hunting made him proficient enough. Besides, the dagger was not truly meant to hit, only meant to distract. By the time the vampire dodged his weapon, Zero's gun was already drawn and aimed at the Level-E.

Zero smirked.

"Goodbye, vampire."

He pulled the trigger.

The vampire fell and instantly turned to dust. Zero smiled with satisfaction before crouching down to pick up his discarded daggers. He felt good. _Proud_. He could still do this; he could still fight.

"Beautiful." Zero shuddered; he could still hear Kaname's voice, mocking him, egging him on. Calling him beautiful when all Zero felt was disgust.

"Don't ignore me, Zero." The voice went on, and only then did Zero realize the voice he heard was no product of his imagination, but a real, tangible thing.

_No. Please… _

Zero stood, turning slowly towards the alley's opening. The light from the streetlamp seemed dimmer than before. A man stood in the entrance, blocking all light from the street proper. But Zero would know that silhouette anywhere.

_Kaname_.

Immediately, Zero aimed his gun at Kaname; he didn't even think about it. Zero would not allow himself to think. Already, he could feel panic building inside of him – if he let himself think, allowed himself to remember all that Kaname did to him, the panic would surely take control.

"The silent treatment," Kaname sighed, as if this encounter was a mere annoyance. "I thought you better than that, Zero." He took a step forward. Zero adjusted his aim on instinct. Having Kaname in line with his gun made Zero feel better, even though he knew a shot from this gun probably would not kill him. Deadly to most vampires – but Pure Bloods? A league all their own. Perhaps a shot at point blank would kill him… Zero wasn't willing to let Kaname get that close.

"Kaname." Zero said evenly, allowing no emotion in his voice. The Pure Blood shuddered visibly, a smile on his lips. He looked immensely pleased with himself. "What do you want, vampire?"

"You." Kaname's response was immediate.

Zero wanted to throw up.

"Fuck off," he hissed in return, finger falling over the trigger. But he didn't shoot – not yet.

As usual, Kaname ignored him. "Put that thing down," an order, and though Kaname's tone was mostly light, Zero's ears were trained to discern the demand. Zero remembered the last time he disobeyed that tone – bedridden for a week; not even Kaname's blood could heal all the damage done.

Zero realized he was shaking – afraid. The onslaught of memories didn't help. Zero still didn't lower his gun.

"I said," Kaname's tone was darker now. The command nearly took hold. Orders from a Pure Blood were so hard to ignore… But Zero was good at this; he had practice. "Put it down." Zero didn't move.

One moment, Kaname stood at the head of the alley – the next, they stood mere inches apart. Kaname's hand rested on the barrel of Zero's gun; unafraid, despite the damage such a weapon could do.

The sudden proximity startled Zero – his eyes weren't quite fast enough to see a Pure Blood move, not like that. He took a shaky step backwards, but Kaname followed – of course he would. Kaname pressed him against the wall, cold and hard, still slightly damp from the rain. Such a small detail, one not even worth noticing. But anything was better than focusing on the man in front of him. The nightmare playing out before his eyes.

"Zero…" he shuddered. The sound of his name on Kaname's lips made him sick. "You've healed well." Kaname's free hand trailed downwards, feeling out Zero's body, like a doctor checking for broken bones. Zero was mostly healed by now. Only bruises remained, bruises and the ache in his side –

Zero cried out; Kaname found that ache, pressed his fingers into the bruises, grinding against bone and tender muscle. His nails dug in deep, nails too blunt to draw blood, but the pain was still excruciating. Kaname _hmm'ed_ with delight, leaning forward even more, lips finding the wound made by the Level-E. He hovered there for a moment. Zero stayed perfectly still, finger on the trigger of his gun, but fighting back was so far from his mind. All his thoughts and plans of how he would kill Kaname for what he did– in the face of his tormentor, Zero forgot each and every one.

"I'm leaving after this," Kaname said slowly. If Zero didn't know better, he'd have thought Kaname sounded genuinely upset. But this was only the pouting disapproval of a child who lost its toy, nothing more. "Won't see you for a while…" His nostrils flared, taking in Zero's scent. "Tell Cross that he can keep his Academy. It still has my blessing, but I won't be attending anymore." Zero's shoulders sagged with relief. He dealt with living side-by-side with Kaname for so long, but now that _they_ knew... Zero wouldn't have been able to do that anymore.

"However, you will remember who you belong to." Kaname leaned back, much to Zero's surprise. He thought Kaname was going to bite him, possible drain him dry; his certainly had the capability, and Zero still showed no signs of fighting back.

Kaname pushed him against the wall with even more forced than before, Zero's head snapping back. He hit the wall with dizzying force, nausea increasing tenfold. Zero tried to right himself, but the world was spinning. By the time his vision settled, Kaname was already holding his wrist to Zero's mouth, bleeding – Zero didn't see Kaname cut himself open, but the scent hit him even harder than he hit the wall.

He gasped, a familiar but no less powerful desire overwhelming him. God, if that blood did not smell wonderful. Zero remembered the relief. He remembered the guilt, too. And the humiliation.

But the _relief_.

His mouth opened of its own accord; like an old habit Zero could not break, he bore himself to Kaname.

"Good boy," Kaname whispered. That, too, was familiar. Disgusting and degrading, but familiar. Zero's eyes shut in defeat.

His world turned red.

* * *

**[I just want you to know that I drafted this chapter_ five storming times_ before I wrote a version I was satisfied with. So I'm not going to apologize for how long it took me to update. Not sorry. And I couldn't name this chapter for shit. Sue me.  
**

**Anyway! I wanted to make Zero a little more proactive in this chapter. I always found it odd that despite there being two fully-fledged vampire hunters and one retired vampire hunter in the series, there are very few scenes were we actually see them _hunting vampires_. So I guess this chapter is somewhat self-indulgent. Again, not sorry.**

**Finally, shoutout to my friend Feather (who I'm sure doesn't read this fic but whatever) for giving me advice on the final draft. She's super helpful and I love her.**

**And do post a review. Reviews are lovely.]**


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